


Period at the mall and bad parenting

by LaBarbarossa



Series: All the world is in town [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Drama, F/M, Gen, Human AU, Humour, Kids, domestic AU, tw blood, tw periods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 13:45:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7804138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaBarbarossa/pseuds/LaBarbarossa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Arthur's turn to go shopping with the twins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Period at the mall and bad parenting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [losthitsu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/losthitsu/gifts).



   His spouse loved to describe Arthur Kirkland as a naturally grumpy man, embittered before his prime. It was a ridiculous statement, as generally were all of hers. It was true that he loved to make precise little lists of all the things he enjoyed and despised. It was hardly his fault that the latter happened to be that damn long. Banes and plagues were numerous in his life. Sweetness was scarse, especially since he had to add sugar to the already long list of the things that spoiled his life. Althought not sugar in itself, the sugar that managed to crawl its way in his 11 years old daughter's mouth, that is.

When the usually upbeat and energic Amelia was looking all pale and tense this morning, he was already sure of why :

   “Amy. What did you have for breakfast this morning ?” He said in a menacing voice.

   “Eugh. Nearly nothing Dad. Some cereals. It couldn't stomach anything”

   “Riiight”. Arthur glanced at Matthew to see if the boy could confirm his twin sister's version. He held his stare long enough to be convincing. “So rare of you to be this frugal in the morning. You wouldn't happen to have an idea about why you couldn't eat as usual ?”

   “Huh no”, she answered in a pained voice, “my tummy hurts!”

   “Since when?”

   “Since I woke up!”

   “And you didn't eat anything else? Like, my guess, some kind of... of...” Arthur was holding his word to see if his daughter could catch up, but it looked like it wasn't the case. Matthew was faster.

   “Candies?” Amelia had, for a half second, the usual reaction she have when she hear the word: a mix between a puppy who's told it's going out for a walkie and a cat hearing a tuna can opening. It didn't last long. Her face quickly became sullen, and she claimed in disgust:

   “Eugh no! Not today. Plus, I don't have any. I won't eat them with my belly.”

   “And yesterday evening?” Inquired Arthur.

   “What? No! Neither! I didn't eat no candy Dad, I swear! It huuurts!” At this moment, Amelia's pained face and teary eyes looked very convincing. Arthur had to admit that his daughter's pain was probably the doing of some nefarious bacteria rather than an unholy amount of glucose's.

   “Alright alright. It's a bit late in the year for a gastroenteritis though. Where does it hurts?”

   “Below. Here.” She pointed at a space somewhere between her stomach and her groin. Arthur couldn't really figure it out.

   “Look. First we have to do the groceries. Then, if it doesn't get better, I'll get an appointment to the doctor. Are you alright with that?”

   “Do I really have to go with you and Matt? I could stay at home?” Arthur could clearly feel the hope in her voice. But no way in hell he'll be letting his daughter alone while sick in the house. What if she starts puking everywhere? Better it happens outside.

   “No I fear not. I won't leave you here while your Mom's at work. You're not that sick so you can't come with us, right?” Amelia made a pained and angry face. “It's settled then. Get out of your pajamas you two, we're going in a quarter.”

   Half an hour latter and the kids where settled on the back seats. Amy wanted absolutely to wear her new blue dress and Arthur had to prevent yet another dispute on the subject of whom would have the honor to be on the passenger seat. The answer was: “None of you. Now get your butts on the backseat and put the safety belt before I get angry!”

 

* * *

 

   Arthur's childhood memories of groceries are that of one of the least dreaded chores bestowed upon him. In a way, he was even happy to do them. He was the youngest, therefore the “pampered one” according to his siblings, and his mother wouldn't let him alone at home with them. Thankfully so, they would have certainly found a way to “accidentally” murder him. In consequence, it was one of the precious few moment in his life when he could have his mom all to himself and, if he was well-behaved, have her buy him some treats. Later, he started to do them by himself on behalf of his mother and sometimes grand-mother. This used to give him a feeling of importance, especially when he had to land the money to the cashier. Now that he is a full-grown and responsible adult, he still hasn't departed himself from this smug feeling each time he reach the moment to pay for good and services, with the money he earned, his very own.

   What a shame his children couldn't share this mindset. Now a real chore it was.

 

   Bringing the twins in a mall was, in his mind, like releasing two baby-T-rex in a modern jungle. It was particularly true the weeks following their first view of the Jurassic Park serie. Screeching like blood-thirsty velociraptors in public places became a very obnoxious hobby of them, especially in the toys, comics and cavities-inducing treats alleys. While Matthew could behave most of the time, Amy almost never did and Arthur did consider the acquisition of one of those leash for children. Marianne wasn't having any of it, of course. Foolish woman.

   For once, they were quiet. Sort of. Amy was going through a loop of “Urgh I'm dying daddy DY-ING. Can I rest in the comics alley?” and “Well I'm better now, let's go running about, can we pick cookies?”. So far she managed to not overstep the very narrow boundaries of her father's patience, but she was getting close. As usual.

 

   Two minutes ago, she made quite a sensation in the laundry alley, stomping and screeching that her belly was aching like heck. Now that her father was, as calmly as possible, explaining to Matt that he didn't needed new hockey gears until next november, Amy decided that she needed some attention again.

   “Dad! Dad! DAD-DY! Look at that! We can drink that stuff and it GLOWS! Can we have some! I wanna taste it, please? Please? Pretty pretty please?”

   Arthur gave an infuriated glance at the bottle of disgustingly blue-coloured energy drink his daughter was waving under his nose and swiftly responded with a blunt “No”.

   “But daaad...”

   “No 'buts'! Weren't you sick last time I checked? Now go put this horror in its place! And I don't want to hear any other buying request or you're grounded!”

   Amy looked at him with her usual look of defiance, but it quickly turned into a painful frown and she hurryed back where she took the bottle. Arthur pinched his nose as he often did when his nerves grew sore. He thought that this morning couldn't possibly get more tiring until an obnoxiously familiar voice came to his ears.

   “Oi. Pipsqueak, can help yerself from yelling at yer brats all the time, aye?”

   “Oh please...” Arthur sighed.

   Matthew dropped his pout and came running into his aunt Blair's arms the instant he saw her. “Aunty Blair! Dad is mean! I need a new stick but he won't buy me a new one” he complained. Despite his calm and often sweet demeanor, Matthew really had a mischievous side and a gift for playing adults against each others.

   Arthur growled “I told you already, Matthew. You won't need it until the hockey season actually starts. Besides we have other things to pay for than a goddamn hockey stick.”

   “Aw Artie, just a paddle's gonna ruin you. Such a scrooge and a loosy dad you are!” mocked Blair.

   “You're the last person on Earth I'll let lecture me about stinginess” Arthur retorded “Why won't you buy him that for your favourite nephew yourself? Like the good aunt you are?” he added with a smirk.

   It worked. Matthew eye's were briefly filled with hope as he starred expectantly at his aunt who was glaring at her brother until she said: “Well nah, I'm broke so it ain't gonna be possible right now. Sorry Mattie”. Mattie started to pout again, freed himself of his aunt's embrace and resumed to look envily at the various gears of the aisle.

   “Eh. They really have a way to make you feel guilty when you don't abide by their wants, right?” Said Blair with a soft smile.

   “Maybe. Though I noticed it doesn't seem to work on res-pon-sible adults” snarked Arthur.

   “Oh sorry then. I guess his highness Sir. Arthur Kirkland the oh-so responsible adult and henpecked husband of the fair lady Marianne wouldn't need the presence of his irresponsible old maid of a sister to watch over his perfect little hatchling here while he'll go looking for the other one” Blair snarked back “Where's Amy?”

   “Ugh. I sent her to put back on its aisle some stupid drink she wanted me to buy? I don't know what's taking her so long.”

   “Let me watch over Matt while you search for her. Or maybe I'm not responsible enough?”

   “Oh drop it! I'm going to look for her. I'll be right back”

   “If she's not at the other side of the mall already” Blair said with a laugh.

   “It's a goddamn possibility” mumbled Arthur.

 

   Thankfully, Arthur didn't had to search for long. His daughter was in the nearby aisle where they sell all the random sugar-filled stuffing deemed mandatory by Sunday sportsmen. Amy was reading with a bewildered look the ingredient list of what was supposed to be a chocolate bar. One of her hand was clutching her belly and she sometimes made a frowned face. Arthur noticed she grew paller and decided that a visit to the doctor would be needed. When she saw her father she immediately asked “Daddy what's that E-471 stuff?”

   “Something bad no doubt. Now has it occurred to you that you were supposed to get right back at us after putting the bottle back?” Arthur asked and Amelia waved her head in answer “Now you drop that bar in its box and you stay with me. No more straying”

   Amelia obeyed with a put and followed silently in her father's footsteps. Soon she would be trying to get his attention again.

   “Dad! DAD!”

   “Amy, please. No more. I'm already ti...”

   “BUT DADDY LOOK! MY BE...” Shrieked Amy.

   “Oh enough!” Arthur snapped and turned to the young girl, “I told you to stop pestering me with all your whims! Don't you...”

   But Arthur shut up at once. His daughter was looking at him with tears in her eyes and clutching her blue dress this way Arthur could clearly see a faint stream of blood droping on the inside of her left thigh.

 

   His horrified scream could have easily echoed in the whole mall.

   People were staring as a very panicked Arthur was telling his crying daughter not to panic.

   “Oi, what the hell is this mess?” Blair came right at the moment, holding Matthew's hand who was holding a new red jersey in the other.

   “SHUT UP, YOU! MY DAUGHTER IS HAVING AN INTERNAL FUCKING BLEEDING!” Bellowed Arthur, loud enough to cover Amy's whailing and the crowd's rumor. “CALL THE EMERGENCIES OR GEEET LOOOOOST!”

 

* * *

 

   “Yer a real moron, ya know that?”

   “Oh shut up”

   “And a cunt”

   “Do you mind? There are children here!”

   “Oh right, better not risk they start using their dear father's vocabulary”

   “Here's your tea, sir. Do you want some sugar?”

   “Thank you and no, thank you, miss” Arthur answered the young mall employee who just brought him a cup of tea. He really needed that after so much emotions. They were in the staff's lodge where the manager was kind enough to let them rest... and hide after having caused such a ruckus. There, two nice young ladies explained with Blair to Amy that she wasn't dying, that she just had her first period and that meant she was a big girl now. They even brought a pair of spare panties and sanitary pads. Now her aunt was scrubbing her legs clean while the young girl was sipping on a bottle of coke she got for comfort. Matthew got another bottle from his father before he could voice any complaining and he was watching the whole scene with a frown.

   “Dad?”

   “Yes, dear?”

   “Will I get periods too? I don't wanna bleed from my peepee!”

   “Oh thanks God no! This is a woman thing.”

   “But why does it happens?”

   “Yeah why? It's true I'll have to hurt and bleed every month?” Asked Amy with an air of indignation on her face.

   “Well nah. Not every month at first, sweetie” Answered Blair “And ye'll see it'll hurt less, eventually” She made a small pause. “Maybe”.

   “And what's that pill thing the ladies were talking about?”

   Blair chuckled but Arthur scoffed “Later Amy, you'll talk about it with your Mother, alright?”

   “Does Maman have periods too?” Matthew asked, then Amy: “And Aunty Blair too?”

   This time Blair laughed while her younger brother gasped: “Ah enough! I want some peace with my tea! Now you'll ask it to your Mom yourselves. I'm... I'm not an authority on the subject!”

   “Ah Ah! Yeah he's not! When we were kids he used to steal and hide away all my tampons so I had to use your Gran's instead”.

   The twins looked at their aunt with bewilderment then at their father with disgust and Arthur glared silently at Blair over his cup.

 

   When they got home, Marianne was back from work and the twins came running at her screaming what happened at the mall. When she finally got the whole story she laughed at Arthur for half an hour and teased him with it the whole week.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm using TheMagicMeep's Fem!Scotland, I hope she doesn't mind.
> 
> I'll probably have to make several corrections latter but I wanted to know what y'all thought of this first attempt at fanfic. It's based on some real-life experience but I encourage female readers to let me know everything I got wrong!


End file.
